I mentioned that I went to a girls night this last weekend. While I had lots of fun, I did have a very enlightening conversation with one of my friends/co-workers. She and her hubby are trying to get pregnant and have been for a couple years. We were talking about all the stuff they're trying and how frustrating it all is. See, there isn't any medical reason she and her hubby can't get pregnant, they just simply aren't. She's given up her daily coffee, alcohol and made lots of other lifestyle changes. She's been poked and prodded and examined. He's been checked, too. We were talking about my PCOS and how I'm just not in a place, mentally, to subject myself to all this stuff that I know will come up when Curtis and I decide to start a family.
For the last 6 months or so, I've been in a funk....I think the reality of my condition finally was settling in. I look around me and see babies EVERYWHERE. I had a conversation with a very close friend last fall about my condition and the frustrations of wanting desperately to have a baby, but not being able to. She had suffered a miscarriage prior to having her two beautiful girls and she said something to me that really hit home. She said that even though she had suffered the extreme loss of a child, at least she had hope that she could get pregnant again. I don't even have that small hope. After my conversation this weekend with my friend, I realized how self-centered I've been. At least I have a medical reason I can't get pregnant, she has no reason she can't and it's devastating. So, thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes to my selfishness.
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Hey Shara. I think I have a small glimpse of what you are going through. It took us almost a year to get pregnant and it was really hard for me. (I know that's nothing in the long run!) Meanwhile I had a few friends that got pregnant with their third or fourth baby without even trying. Then I'd have to hear them say "I'm not sure I'm even ready for this baby." AHHH! I don't think it's totally selfish to feel the way that you do. Right before I got pregnant, I had the idea that it would never happen and we would adopt. I just had to remember that everything was in God's hands and he would give us the baby that he wanted us to have. I will pray for you! It's a hard situation to be in, especially where we are in our lives.
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